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Announcing: The Hottest Realtor in the Solar System Winner!

What Authorities Don’t Want You to Know: The Untold Legacy of the Mars Rover Photographs

marv
The photographs sent back to earth by NASA’s Curiosity and Opportunity rovers ignited the imaginations of the world’s populace, but that’s not all they did. They also caught the eye of Alpha-Centurian intergalactic real estate agent M Martian.

Marv is known throughout the galaxy as one of the top sellers of properties. His most recent notable closing was that of the Imperial Palace on Kepler 438b, an opulent estate of a scale so grand that several years passed before a suitable buyer could be found.

He’s also been active in the distressed properties market, where she says derelict cargo ships with good bones and workable floor plans are hot sellers. “With a little TLC, they can be really homey, and they’re great for first-time homebuyers on the move,” Marv has said.

Everyone’s a Realtor on Earth

After having intercepted the transmissions of the Mars rovers, this jet-setting agent has turned his attentions to the Milky Way galaxy. He’s considered dabbling in the Earth market before, but has stayed out of the game on account of the highly competitive market. “Everyone’s a realtor on Earth,” he said in a recent interview.

With Mars, though, he sees a wide-open field of opportunity, not just for real estate agents, but for prospective homebuyers as well.

“If you’re tired of the skyrocketing prices in fashionable urban markets like San Francisco and the Canis Dwarf Galaxy, you can’t go wrong with Mars. Sure, the commute’s a bit of a chore seeing that it’s several light-years from most planets, but it’s a place where you can get an awful lot of land for the money.”

But What About the Fire Worms on Mars?

Two of Marv’s heads went on to state that Mars’ giant fire worm problem has been blown way out of proportion by the interstellar media. “Really, you don’t see the fire worms in the more established neighborhoods. They occasionally pop up on the outskirts of settlements in the northern hemisphere, but they rarely eat more than a few settlers, and seldom breathe fire unless they’re very hungry.”

By all indications, Some of Mars’ more desirable residential enclaves have seen a substantial uptick in recent months.

Case in point: the property around Olympus Mons, the largest known mountain in the solar system. “It’s a striking landmark unlike anything in the area, and views like that fetch a premium in this competitive market,” said Mr. Martian.

The Next Most Desirable Part of the Galaxy?

Will Mars be the next Gliese 832 c? “Well, that’s hard to say,” Martian said, “but it’s certainly becoming a very desirable part of the galaxy, and it’s only a matter of time before the carbon-based life forms start moving in, especially now that terraforming plans are underway. Terraforming brings oxygen, and oxygen brings humans, Tau Cetians, and other beings eager for great deals on desirable properties with breathable air. We’ll see how it pans out. One thing is certain, though: now is the time to buy a home on Mars.”

Check out Marv’s recent listing. Death Star for Sale Only slightly lived in.

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